With that said - I owe a great deal to my hubby - who took care of my lil man.
It took a lot to get out the door. Sleep did not come easily last night not to mention lil man was cranky all weekend (as if he knew I was making the transition back to work - the other four letter word).
I have been having panic attacks for the past four weeks. The reality (cause it really is true) is that I have a pretty awesome, fun, cutting edge job. My hours are extremely flexible and I am fortunate to work with a great group of professionals.
I still have to leave lil man, who was with me for nine + months and permanently attached to me 24/7 for the past 12 weeks.
I was fortunate enough to meet my lil guy for lunch, still pumping twice and preventing the "bottle" for the first day back to work. Tomorrow - he may have to bite the bottle (pun intended). The thought of him taking my milk from a bottle makes me cry just typing this.
I did manage to coordinate my outfit, put on make-up, comb my hair, escape without puke on me - and nursed my lil guy to sleep prior to leaving. I seemed to roam around a great deal, often hitting the wrong button on the elevator to the floor I thought I might work on. I hid out in the lab and cringed when the phone rang. Luckily I kept busy getting things in order in the lab - but I did have to venture out a few times - shrieking back for fear anyone would recognize me. One friend noted I was "skittish." Embarrassed to say - social interactions in the past 12 weeks have been limited and all my insecurities have returned with a vengeance!
However, all the anxiety leading up to today, that filled my day, that sped my journey home - resulted in this look when I walked through the door.....
That says it all right there.... may have returned to work - but my lil man only has heart for only me!
And I for him....
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