Happy Thanksgiving!!!

This year, unlike years before, we traveled to Michigan for Thanksgiving!  We literally packed up our house (kitchen stuff, bed stuff, baby stuff and other stuff) and took the four hour (plus) trek to my hubby's dad.  Not something one should do with a child less than 3 months old (or in reality less than a year) but it was something we needed to do as a family.   

(insert pout from me - but before you judge me - understand it was my idea to travel to Michigan).

My hubby's mom died a year ago and this is his dad's second Thanksgiving alone.  Let alone, there was a new grandson in his life, the need to go home was there.  It was my suggestion since I was on maternity leave and his dad would never travel to Chicago (that's another long story for another time). 

My hubby is ALL ABOUT cooking on Thanksgiving and was not giving that up even by traveling home.  So - the trek was made, the dinner was prepared and family time was had by all. 

I would like to squash my sarcastic stories, pouty moments, frustration and irritation by pointing out what I (we as a family) were thankful for this year (Cause the former was expressed in, text messages to my friends, twitter and facebook - and serves no purpose here.)

This year was a year of God's faithfulness to all that was heavy in our heart as a family.  Natalie had a successful year in 7th grade and ending with straight A's and more confidence in herself.  Rowan grew socially by leaps and bounds and tackled some difficult life decisions well, seeking prayer first (something I need to do a lil more).  My hubby tackled a personal goal and ushered in something very heavy on his heart - a son (such a blessing from God).  I had a wonderfully complication free pregnancy which resulted in a perfect, healthy baby boy (Thank you Jesus) that was such a testament of God's Grace, Mercy and Faithfulness to many of my friends.   All of this occurred stress free (well relatively stress free) during and because of tremendous support from some awesome friends in our life!

From a more worldly point of view - my career advanced (with a raise), my hubby is back at the bike shop working regularly (and happy with this career) and the girls are thriving and striving in Chicago. 

So on this evening of gluttony and football greatness.......

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

It's a BOY!

After 18 plus hours (more than that actually but we fibbed a little to take the pressure off my normally long labors) Cillian Edward Mobley made his appearance into this world!

Cillian Edward Mobley at 2135 on 9/202011

In the words of my husband, with that final push, "it's a boy - and he's perfect!"

Perfect indeed he is!

Weighing in at 4.012 KG he every gram a boy!

We were blessed by a wonderful mid-wife, a great tag team of two doulas and a caring primary nurse.  The girls were there for the entire labor and in the end Natalie became the rock that got me through transition and to completion (while she will lead you to believe that her hand is still numb from my squeezing).  

I don't think this is something that any of us will forget for a long time.

Praise God for his continued Grace and Mercy

Another Miracle

As many of you know, the baby was discovered to be Breech (leading me to believe that this lil guy is a guy cause a girl would stop and ask for directions on the proper way out) last week leaving us with choices that were not on my list of delivery options. 

Today - at the bright hour of 0800 - my hubby and prego self trek'd on down to the OB unit at the hospital for an external version.  I had tried to prepare myself for a crash c-section, successful version but induced labor or worse - a planned c-section d/t failed version.  (A granola nut tree hugging woman like me with two water births under her belt and a combined total of 4 years of breast feeding was not digging these options). 

There was a great deal of prayer going on in my house this weekend not to mention breech exercises and some humor provided by my girls.  At one point I was laying with my feet in the air, on my bed, in the privacy (insert British accent) of my room, with Peter Gabriel playing at the pubic area and me massaging the baby towards the head down position, and in walked my lil Ro with her minions to stare at me.  I heard one minion say "what's you mom doing" to which my reply was "trying to flip the baby - Rowan - please leave and shut the door." 

The girls drew lovely lil arrows on my belly directing the baby to the head down position along with hearts and flowers and notes of love (this was the most wonderful thing they could have done to support me than anything else).  

My hubby tried to do his best to support me but I could tell he was struggling to understand all that was concerning and upsetting to me (bless his heart).

 We even did the casting of my belly - for fear that this would be the last weekend it was mommy and baby as opposed to mom and baby "insert girl or boy."   I spent several alone minutes rubbing the belly, talking to my baby and praying I could give up control to God and relax. 

We took many bump pictures and resolved ourselves that this was the last night as a family expecting. 

Which brings me to this morning......

What's that you ask?????

That's a head - yup a head!

PRAISE GOD - a beautiful head in the HEAD DOWN position!

Did I mention this was BEFORE the version?

Yup - BEFORE the version!

this baby - smarter than you can imagine - by the Grace of God - flipped.  He (or she) FLIPPED on his (or her) own!!!!

Ok, this is where I tell you that I:

a. didn't believe it and asked for three different US looks

b. knew exactly when it happened after it was confimred

and.....

c.  CRIED - tears of joy, tears of faith and tears of anxiety leaving my body

Praise God for his continued Grace, Faithfulness and Control 

It's really quite silly.... or not

Today was the US!  The one day that most prego women can't wait for.  I was really quite underwhelmed by it all.  This is our third baby and I am just thankful that this gift from God is growing inside of me. 

To say I was a little stressed about getting the US done is an understatement.  I didn't even know how stressed until the warm gel hit the belly and the probe made contact.  It's such a hard sell now for all these screenings, amnios, US and genetic work ups.  My hubby and I went into this pregnancy praising God for the opportunity to be parents again and felt very strongly that whatever God gave us was what God wanted.  A screening result would not have changed anything in the course of our pregnancy. 

As soon as the probe made contact with the belly I started crying.  Not tearing up, CRYING.  A fountain of tears came pouring out.  Poor US tech thought I was uncomfortable from the US and my overly full bladder (which I then got to empty). 

What caused this outpouring of tears - the most amazing, beautiful, sight that I could have laid eyes on

 

A beautiful, perfectly created, baby.  A four chambered heart, perfect head circumference, abdominal organs all intact, spinal cord complete, two arms and two legs measuring right at the dates estimated (not too big not too small).  He/she even did acrobatic moves while being filmed.  

Tears of Joy, Tears of Stress - but most of all Tears of Praise that God once again shows his hand in our lives in such a small, yet so big, way!

PRAISE GOD!!

Park Message today - Why do we work?

The girls - with their social life that I live vicariously through - are at a sleepover tonight.  The dear hubby and I had a date night.  He suffered through a night with his prego wife who had strange food aversions such as "nothing that is edible tastes good or looks good." 

We used our Groupon coupon to Barrio and decided we were glad it was a groupon coupon.  Sigh - while the food was different and they gave nice little portions, the service lacked a lot!  I had the opportunity to visit the bathroom (d/t the pea size of my bladder that the silly baby seems to think is his water bed) three times from appetizer to desert and wished I had before we left.  That was how long dinner dragged out.  Perhaps God was trying to get us to enjoy the time alone together - all a part of his master plan that we totally ignored. 

We came home to look over the Message from Park Church for Sunday, knowing we would enjoy the service to ourselves with our kids away.

I really liked this short theme - it has me thinking deeply about what work means to me.  I wish I could say I enter every work week with a renewed sense of purpose but find myself longing for something better as soon as I am five minutes into the Monday work day.  While work does give me a sense of purpose and I enjoy what I do - minor (and some major things) often irritate me so that I am not who I should be.  Sigh - I have a lot of work to do on this front. 

Ecclesiastes 1:3 :: Your Work Matters to God, Pt. 2

Ecclesiastes 1:3 ESV
What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 :: Your Work Matters to God

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 ESV
And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.

What does work mean for you?   

What is the MAJOR reason you work?

Today's Message at Park was utterly profound yet so basic and simple. 

Genesis 1:28 ESV

And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

I've never been the "lazy" person at work.  I might go through seasons where I feel blah about work but I always try to put my best work forward.  I don't think of work as an idol but after today's message I have to think twice about how I work.  I rarely have a "sabbath."  Rarely.  I am always checking email, even if it is just for personal emails.  You know how that ends up - you look for personal emails and then there is an email from work and you just have to read and possibly answer.  Then there are the charts I must go through, and often times, go in on the weekend to gather.  I always feel like things need to be done now, as opposed to later, well as opposed to just done and turned in and I always feel like I need to look for new things to tackle or improve.





I need to make a few changes in my life - which perhaps - would make me happier about my job, a better mom, a better wife and in turn a better woman of God.

1. I need to keep a sabbath - totally disconnect from my email/twitter/FB and VPN access to work?
2. I need to not push the envelope of time at work - do what's reasonably expected of someone within a normal work week and stop bringing work home, checking email at dinner and working on "work" at the dinner table.  
3. I need to learn to say "no" at work.  (I am not the only one that can do a task and do it well)
4. I need to give my career over to God.
   

At the end of the service there was a CHALLENGE  -  One sentence mission statement for MAKING YOUR WORK WORSHIP Just one sentence to summarize what you want to see happen in your life.

I have thought about it all day, and while I was going through charts as well, and came up with this.

I want to make an impact at work from the skills and calling that God has given me while showing my co-workers, and others I come into contact with, Christ's Love.

So what is the MAJOR reason YOU Work?

What I am reading now.....

Finished Green - interesting.  Not as good as the first three books in the series but definitely worth the read. 

I am now reading Radical by David Platt.

This has shown up on many blog posts and other relative media that I decided it was a subtle nudge I should start reading it.


With a point, click and download - this is the book I will curl up with tonight.  While I am concerned it maybe a little in my face about how the Worldly Culture of today is interfering with how we should be seeing, viewing, believing and following God....

I think I need an in your face talk....

Operation Restore

First of all - after this last week the praise and worship at Park was just what I needed to wipe away the stress and fatigue so that I could be focused on the message. 

The message was filled with hope and urging to pursue those who have wandered.


James 5:19-20 ESV
My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

Who do you need to pursue?

Heaven and Hell Revisited

Trying to reconnect and spend time in the word.  I thought I would make it easy and search Park's blog for recent posts. What I found was a discussion on the new book by Rob Bell that I refuse to buy.

I only refuse to buy it because it seems to be kicking up quite the controversy and I am not in the mood to be in the middle of a controversy.

I thought this was quite the blog post and confirmed my need to not read the book.  I think that Christians need to be cognizant of what they read and back it up with the Word.  This blog post says it all.   I encourage you to cruise over there and take a look. 

Praise God for the Living Word - to guide us and keep us. 

Park Message today - Prayer and Praise

I find it odd, knowing the grace and mercy of God, along with his power and glory, that I often forget to "pray." I praise - I even praise alot in times of trial - but prayer eludes me. Why is that?

The message today, at Park, once again reminded me how incomplete my journey in Christ is. (insert sigh here)

James 5:13-18 :: Prayer

James 5:13-18 ESV
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.

I find it ironic - all those times we were trying to get pregnant (all five years of it) I praised God no matter each month.  I don't remember "praying" all that often the desires of my heart.  Don't get me wrong - I prayed, usually with each BFN or each failed attempt or more statistics thrown on our lap.  I never really just cried out to God the anger, hurt and longing of my heart.  However, as soon as we found out we were preggers - I have prayed and praised almost every day.  Did I fail this trial?  

About a two weeks ago I had a scare at work - thinking it was just one more miscarriage.  I immediately started praising and praying till I was home in bed and praying more.  I did turn to praising and have been praising every day since knowing my hope lies in Christ not in the certainty of statistics and doubt of man.  I feel maybe I grew this this last trial - but how do I learn from this and grow?  How do I chose to pray first and then act?  I always seem to "act" first not pray.

My confession is that I do not rely on God for all, everything, anything.  My confession is that I worry, fear, fret and become anxious over everything - most of which is not in my control.

My prayer is that I grow to rely on God more, that I am quick to prayer and slow to action, that I be more mindful of where I am at all times.

Running on a treadmill....

I feel like I am running on a treadmill! 

My bible readings, prayer time and alone time is suffering.

Thank GOD the baby is moving now or I would forget I was preggers.... 

Work is closing in and I am not coping well. 

I feel like a failure with my kids - one more dinner plopped in the crock pot today - Baked Zita - with a huge veggie twist (shhhhhhh  they don't need to know there are carrots, zucchinni, cauliflower or squash).  It will be done by lunch and they can snack on it till dinner.  They are home from school and I have parent teacher conference that I smidged in between two meetings - one having me run back to work at a high rate of speed. 

I love living in Chicago - everything is centralized - but at times I feel more frazzled trying to get from point a to point b. 

I will be so glad when 4/16 is here - I am going to plop myself in bed and not get out till the 17th - when we leave on a mini vacay of sorts.

I feel like such a slug and failure.  I have, however, retreated to a quiet room to read prologue from Park. 

I just want to know how I lost control of my time and my commitments?  How does this happen?  How do I prevent it?

Heaven and Hell

Tomorrow's message at church - been reading it tonight.  I have a feeling, while it will be presented quite well, it will be heavy!

Luke 16:19-29 :: Heaven & Hell

What is biblically supported in the narrative?: - Background - Details of the rich man - Details of the poor man - Lazarus in the place of God - Where Abraham is now - Reclining at the table – what is to come - Hades – torment - No second chance once you die - There is a chasm between heaven and hell - The Bible is more than enough for folks to make wise, Spiritual decisions about God and Jesus - Seeing a miracle is no guarantee someone is going to be believe What is not biblically supported in the narrative?:

- Do angels come and take us to heaven – Bible does not say - No indication we can see the other side - No indication that those who are in Hades can talk to those who are in the presence of God WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE? WHERE DO YOU GO?

- Soul Sleep WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HADES – SHEOL – GEHENNA - PARADISE? - 2 Peter 2:9 then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous UNDER PUNISHMENT UNTIL THE DAY OF JUDGMENT FOR THE FOLLOWER OF JESUS:

- Philippians 1:23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and BE WITH CHRIST, for that is far better. - 2 Corinthians 5:6 - Luke 23:43 FINAL JUDGMENT –GREAT WHITE THRONE: - Acts 17:30 The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, 31 because HE HAS FIXED A DAY ON WHICH HE WILL JUDGE THE WORLD - Romans 2:5 - Revelation 20:11-15


After the Great White Throne or Final Judgment, all humanity will either live in the new heavens and the new earth or in hell I HAVE HEARD THAT HELL IS REALLY JUST NOTHINGNESS IS THAT TRUE? - Annihilation: God does not delight in the thought of hell. GOD DOES NOT DELIGHT IN THE THOUGHT OF HELL

- 1 Timothy 2:4 who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. - Ezekiel 33:11 - 2 Peter 3:9 WHAT IS HELL? - Isaiah 66:24 “And they shall go out and look on the dead bodies of the men who have rebelled against me. For their worm shall not die, their fire shall not be quenched, and they shall be an abhorrence to all flesh.” - Matthew 13:49-50 - Revelation 19:20 - Revelation 20:13-15 - Revelation 21:8


ARE THERE DEGREES OF PUNISHMENT IN HELL? - Luke 12:47 And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. 48 But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. - Matthew 11:22 - Revelation 20:12


SOME OF YOU RIGHT NOW ARE THINKING THIS ISN’T FAIR WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE WHO ARE FOLLOWERS OF JESUS? - HEAVEN - Revelation 21:1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” 5 And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” 6 And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. 7 The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. - NEW HEAVENS AND NEW EARTH - Wedding Feast – Banquet - Matthew 26:29 - Revelation 19:9 - IT IS A CITY WE WILL LIVE IN - Revelation 21:15-25


ARE SOME CHRISTIAN REWARDED MORE THAN OTHERS IN HEAVEN? - Revelation 11:18 The nations raged, but your wrath came, and the time for the dead to be judged, and for rewarding your servants . . . - 1 Corinthians 3:12-15

WHAT ARE WE GIVEN AS OUR REWARD? - A CROWN - Revelation 4:10 the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying, IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A LOVED ONE LOOKING DOWN FROM HEAVEN? - Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses . . .

WILL I KNOW LOVED ONES AND FRIENDS IN HEAVEN? WILL I STILL BE MARRIED IN HEAVEN? WILL I GET MARRIED IN HEAVEN?
(MY FATHER AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS VERY THING LAST WEEK – MY MOM AND MY SISTER AND MY SON) - Matthew 22:29 But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. - 1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

WHAT WILL PREVENT ME FROM GOING TO HELL FOR WHAT I HAVE ALREADY DONE?

What I am reading now.....

I strive to be a good mom, pleasing and disciplining enough 80% of the time. I feel I miss the mark alot (to be quite honest with you).

I just picked up this book - or rather downloaded it on my ENook.

The author lives in Illinois and has a Chicago Flair to her writing.  I can totally relate to her.  I am slowly reading each chapter.  I take a break after a chapter to reflect and really digest all that she is saying.  I find this book refreshing and guiding.  I find this restores my desire to be the best mom God created me to be as well as hope that he will guide me there if I just stop, take a breath and listen to him. 

Praise God

Awwwwww

I got flowers delivered at work today......  From a group of people that I worked on a grant with.  It was a bright spot on my day..... 

I feel blessed is so many ways - the flowers add to it!

Most wonderful Evening

If you ask a dozen of my friends, a dozen of my colleagues and my family - if I was a work-a-holic they would simply tell you "most definitely!"

Sad I know......

Yesterday I did the most uncharacteristic thing for a Monday and for me.  I sped out of a meeting and met a dear friend from Michigan and her sons, friends and my family.  We had wings at Wild Goose.  Okay - I must admit my hubby was right - not the best choice for the lime and I - but it was so nice to get out on a Monday (I felt decadently evil and a huge slacker at that).  I didn't even think about work for two hours.  I had an appetite AND I had fun.  The after effects of hot wings - not so good - but all worth it!

Note to self - must do this more often.

It is Official

I have crossed though the door I walked through when I started this blog.....

IT WAS OFFICIALLY OFFERED THE JOB OF:

Program Manager of KidSTAR Education Center

Praise GOD!

Thinking Positive

So - I had a lapse of faith yesterday....  (to put it mildly).

After five years of hoping to be pregnant and five years of BFN's I have been a little on edge (again - putting it mildly).

I had some musculoskeletal back pain at work and remembered that I had totally forgot to wear my belly band.  I had texted my hubby the fact and he was so sweet - he brought me my belly band on his way to work.  I was so excited - and went into the bathroom to put it on.  I stepped into the band and wriggle it up over my scrubs only to experience bilateral groin pain that literally made me double over.

I FREAKED!

I tried to relax and tell myself it was normal but about an hour later I was convinced I was cramping and the back pain was worse.... 

So off to home and my bed I came in tears.  I'm twelve weeks - there is literally nothing to do but get off your feet and pray.

My dear friend from Michigan, my prayer partner for the past decade plus, called me and gave me a what for. 

I sought comfort in reading over the sermon notes from yesterday's message and felt like a complete DORK.  My hope lies in Christ alone - not in the certainty of man.  This baby is a gift from God, a testament of his faithfulness and I need to give my fears to him not the statistics of man, not the probabilities of miscarriage, and certainly not on the self doubt that satan plants in our heads. 

Attitude adjustment in place I started knitting a baby sweater - something I have not allowed myself to do because I have been so on edge.  It was like a breath of fresh aire.... 

Praise God!!!!

My POV

While Rowan graciously shared her POV of my current gestating and mylinating condition I thought I would share my POV. 

This is how I would like to conduct my work days right now - curled up on my bed in like three layers of clothes (despite the fact that I am a human furnace right now I seem to be cold intolerant), my lap top and Rowan's pillow pet and my teddy bear to keep me comfy.....

This is really when I am at my best.  Staying vertical for long periods of time makes me quite the pale, pasty irish red head.

This too will pass as the second trimest looms a few weeks away.

I am not complaining - I am praising God for every second of hormonal rage!

OMG! I mean PRAISE GOD!!

God never ceases to amaze me with his over abundance of Grace and Mercy!!!!  His sense of humor is strikingly comforting as well!

When I embarked on Running....  Praying...  and Knitting...  I had closed one door of my life and walked through another.

It turns out - Three weeks of nausea, extreme exhaustion and sliding running times and barely making my 5K's doesn't get you a cardiac consult - it gets you this......

Let me start from the beginning.......


I have been unbelievably exhausted, nauseated and having horrible running times for the past three weeks.

I refused to let myself "go there" and finally called my doc and asked for a "cards" consult since I was exhibiting common "chief complaints" of women with cardiac issues.

I would like to say he didn't utter a laugh - but he did.  He told me to "pee on a stick" first before he placed a Cards Consult.

This was on Friday - I was not about to "ruin" my weekend over yet another BFN prego test.  So - I waited all weekend thinking it would not ruin my weekend to have yet another BFN on the brain.

Saturday I could barely get out of bed and was unbelievably nauseated.

Sunday - I cried uncontrollably through the praise part of the service before and after.  We had a class at church later in the day and I was undeniably bi-polar about my culinary desires.  I chose a red raw roast beef sandwich and loved it (I do not like meat much less red roast beef) then wanted to strangle my hubby cause he wouldn't stop eating the fritos that made me want to wretch.

So - here arrives Monday Morning and I couldn't get the family out of the house quick enough this morning.  Once alone, in my home, I pulled the one lone test I had left just hanging around.

I can't even tell you the conversation I had with myself.  I kept saying "there is no way this is gonna be positive - no way - that doc is whacked and this is just a waste of my time OMG is that a pink line???"

It was a pink line......

And hence God shows his faithfulness and humor all at the same time!

Praise God!

It is done!

After much running, praying and knitting I have updated my resume, created a cover letter and officially "popped" on the position.  I have taking a leap of faith, relying on God's direction, that this is the path i should take in my career.  This will either mean the rapid relocation of our family to another city looking for a completely different job or a step up to a new career. 

I am unbelievably at peace with this.  As a matter of fact that moment my hubby and I decided I should pop on this job back in December I was at peace.  I have not been this at peace in a long time. 

I look forward to the next few weeks and what it can only bring to our family!